BURNING GLASS, BIOBLOGS & BIG BROTHER

If you want to see the "Big Brother" side (the Other Side) of resumes--as opposed to your side, the one you are writing and begging or screaming from--take a look at burning-glass.com's latest resume parsing technology. They can take 5,000 of you job-hunting individuals (with histories, unique stories, complex lives and families, hopes and dreams and capabilities) and churn you all out into identical, comparable (side-by-side comparisons) data banks, further categorized by title, age, location, years in positions, education, career track profiles and dozens of other ways. So if a recruiter (so-called "head hunter" although the head is the part they are missing, since they are actually looking for a "body of work") is on the prowl in the job jungle for a "seasoned yet young web ad designer" they can pull up a file of potential look-alikes based on company names, industries, titles or other factors.

On the other hand, they could just pick up the most powerful resume, a visually impressive, self-branding ad of a bioblog and check out the character behind it. In other words, a bioblog can break out of the limiting form and get the message of "I am, I can, I will" across without being systematically parsed by the high computations and low expectations of "this unit did, was, had the title of, worked in, lives at," none of which says anything about the person's creative character at work, value or potential. Parsing is all about Did and Was, not Is and Will or Can Be.

Beat the system before it beats you into the pulp of raw data machined into formless function. Resist parsing. Bioblogging is not just an art form; it's a revolution against the machination of the workplace and its creative workers. Join in if you have the guts and aren't afraid to stand out.

BRITNEY BARES ALL IN BIOBLOG

This is a title I could not resist. Of course, the absurdities are obvious: Britney needs neither a bioblog or to be bare, as there is evidently nothing naked left to her dissected and widely disseminated soul. She's like a cadaver that's seen too many exhumations, too much probing around in the old damaged tissue. And her bioblog, assuming she would be looking for a regular Mary's job (Madonna's?) other than her main gig as the Media's Main Goddess from the Netherworld, would simply be a blank photo and one of those alarming blinking question marks (? ? ? ?) that a confused, crashing computer mutely speaks. Nothing but bad news, if not worse: memory loss, corrupted hard drive, wasted time and money. Yeah, that's Britney. Her bioblog would be worse than Dorian Gray's mirror, more horrible than the Greek fate of getting what you ask for. Hell, in fact, would be a great place for her to send her bioblog, and I'd bet she'd be hired in a New York minute as a handmaiden to the Devil. Britney's bioblog would have to stress her Drive (like to destroy herself with the passion of a mother gone mad) and Passion (like to drive off a cliff into a sea of dollars). Britney: the Pride & the Passion, a bald pitbull turned virtual assassin, aiming at herself. Good shot, girl! Right on target. You bleed like everyone else! Britney: Bleeds Like You Too (TM). Britney's bioblog: now there's a thought.